Grow and Help Grow

I watched ‘Slumdog Millionaire” yesterday night...for the nth time. Well, what can I say! It’s quite a movie, ain’t it?

I remember watching the movie for the first time in the theatre- gold class and all the jiz that goes with it. As intentioned by the director, I ended up bearing an elephant-sized grudge against Anil Kapoor- the host of the show ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’. Sure, there are clearly other characters whom one would really end up hating- the hero’s brother who sleeps with the hero’s love interest, the gangster who imprisons the love interest, the sleazy chap who blinds small children- of their eyesight as well as their childhood.

But funnily enough, this time around, I wanted to throw a couple of hard punches at Anil Kapoor. What’s the deal with this guy anyway huh? Rich, famous, popular TV host. This guy has got it all and yet he resents the good fortune of a mere chai-walla who is on his way to win the show. Funny how people function sometimes. One would be surprised, maybe even flabbergasted at an illiterate, uneducated boy from the slums giving the right answers to questions that some of us may not know. But to feel bitter about the success of a person who is not nearly as fortunate as you is unexplainable.

Sure, I could apply my Psychology-backed know-how to arrive at what seems a plausible answer. But I am resistant at arriving at an answer that will make me question the basic goodness of man. Nakedly envious of a young boy who is intelligent, down-to-earth, easy-going, naive and almost childlike. As the show host makes repeated attempts at belittling the boy and insulting him on his show, you cannot help but wonder at this shameful show of pettiness. Are we so unsatisfied with our lives that we cannot bear to see another succeed? Are we so wrapped up in our own little world, worrying about our reputation, our status, our fame, and our success that we cannot for one second stop and enjoy another’s happy moment?

Why do we feel so threatened by another’s good fortune? Especially someone less fortunate than you. I find it highly disconcerting that one may find it so hard to sincerely congratulate another without thinking, “What if he does better than me?”; “What if he becomes more powerful/richer/successful than I am?” Why this? Why that?

In the field of training and development, a common issue that companies often come to us with is “insecurity”. Seniors feeling highly insecure because of their juniors performing much better. So what is it that managers most often do? Do not give them opportunities to prove their mettle since there is a risk of them rising the ranks faster. The end result is that these high-potential juniors are underused and misused. What is pity!

What we usually suggest is a development workshop which focuses on attitude change and mind-set change so that these “insecure” managers are sensitized to the damage that they are doing. I wish there was such a thing as Heart-Change. Not unlike a transplant.

It would be great if people could just have a ‘change of heart’. Switch to being happier for others. Kinder to others. More sympathetic to the unfortunate. More helpful to those who have not been as lucky in life. Just switch to having a happier heart.

Here is to wishing all of you the happiest of hearts!