Birthday Brrrs!!

Hmmm...interesting weekend!

Sundays is the only day of the week when I can sleep till late without giving a damn about all the crazy domestic noises that inevitably filter through my door. My mum tells me I resemble a turtle when I sleep. You know the way a turtle will only plop his head out once in a while. Otherwise he is pretty much dead to the world. EXCUSE ME for being a useless household member on Sundays! You pathetic fellow losers who only get a single-day-weekend know what I’m talking about. What say to a round of high fives looozers??

This Sunday I wake up to the sounds in my head. Oh wait. That’s my cell phone.

As I squint at the phone, I realize it’s an ‘old’ work colleague. Literally.  She is married with a kid. Kid turned one this Sunday so her entire clan lands up in the city to celebrate the birthday of a one year old. Apparently it’s a big deal and all. A ‘lunch party’ is thrown in honour of the kid who has no idea what the hell is happening. And she warns me as she hangs up, “We have booked Orange Hara from 12:00 onwards so DO NOT be late”. ‘Lunch party’ sounded quite fashionably important and I was feeling quite guilty landing up at 2:30. Turns out it wasn’t a big deal at all!! $%**@!!

As I dragged myself out of bed, sincerely contemplating whether I should go, I realized why not. How bad can it be? BEEP! Wrong I was.

It all started with the birthday present. It suddenly hit me that I have never actually shopped for a kid before. I mean sure...I may have been proactive in helping my mum pick up a gift for some strange kid but here I had to take responsibility of the gift! After a lot of thought, I ended up getting a huge red telephone with funny eyes that made funny noises when you lifted the receiver. Wait... there is more!! The telephone has “whills”! The store owner excitedly demonstrated as he hopped around the store dragging the toy by a cable. Weirdo!

So I landed up at the kiddy party with a giant telephone. I was immediately blinded by the camera lights as I met the proud mom who had the bday baby in her arms. “Erm...Happy Birthday”, I said to no one in particular. It just felt foolish wishing the kid who seemed to be in limbo state. Do I wish the mum “Happy Birthday” on behalf of the baby? I didn’t have too long to worry about bday etiquette as I was ambushed by both my friend and her husband. “Who does he resemble? Who does he resemble”? “Are you sure this is your’s cause it does not seem to look like either one of you” didn’t seem to be the right answer. “Uh...(think think! Okay eenie meenie mi-nee mo....) you??” I said looking at the husband. Both parents beamed proudly. Yippie...passed with flying colours!

Well, the rest of the party pretty much sucked. As I safely hung out with a common friend of ours, the only stuff that was actually interesting/hilarious/ghastly was the following:

• Hilarious- Kids of all age groups going berserk as they danced spastically to incomprehensible remixed Hindi songs (what did they care about “Sheela ki jawani”). Apparently one tiny bugger did. The bald baby was excitedly grinding his teeth as he went into a stroke every now and then.
• Interesting and Ghastly- The mothers of babies who seemed to enjoy the party a little too much. Apparently they assumed it was their ‘jawani’ that was being referred to. Hence, bellies rippled on the dance floor.
• Just plain Ghastly- Bloody hell! There were babies running around everywhere..dropping food and stuff on the floor that just looked like some sort of...unrecognizable and very questionable goop. Brrr!!

Oh well...I guess the next time I’ll be attending one of these is when I have one of my own. (Brrr!! Need drink. NOW!)